Why men have affairs?
Chat about a loaded topic that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Funny thing, extramarital affairs have been going on from old ages. Extramarital affairs can be burdened with evils, cause despair, and other troubles. Plus you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, funds, age difference, religious upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe weeks long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, lonely wife looks for dating.
Why do women have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are seek affairs. I am sure typically though it is only the human nature, the need for love, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
In nature we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and exciting, and sex makes us escape the world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone are able to turn the longing on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and elder, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the exhilaration of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos humanity has erected against extra-marital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the anger of not only their relatives, but society also. So why, what is the means?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is extremely good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your spouse or anyone else? You would need to reduce the threat you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the largest group, very big actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, except they feel happy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to consider. Your savings are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that stop them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An extra-marital affair at times solves the trouble while keeping the marriage intact.
Neglect, sadly this is a ordinary reason I fear. One or the other, frequently the male is sexually neglecting his lady for a number of reasons. As a male I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them available to us men of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe compassion is not here, could be it is the closeness, could be neglect. Maybe we have just developed apart, our general interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Maybe I just do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they search for the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run away, for financial gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.